Wowzers! This is pretty mental…
From the rather warped mind of Tim Kincaid, who has also given us “classics” such as Bad Girls Dormitory, Robot Holocaust and Riot on 42nd Street, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Breeders is quite an experience.
Some sort of mysterious creature is attacking/raping innocent girls in New York. As the number of victims rapidly increase, some patterns emerge. All the victims are virgins, they’re all covered in some black goo and neither of them can remember anything. Our happy detective Dale Andriotti is on the case! On his side is Dr Gamble Pace. With his detective skills, her medical knowledge and the advanced computers in the hospital, they are ready to fight this monster!
While they do a bot of computer wizardry…the maniac keeps at it…
An innocent gymnast-turned-model decides to do some naked gymnastics during a break at work…as you do.
But before she knows it, her friendly colleague walks in on her and starts bleeding all over the place…
…as if that wasn’t bad enough, he then turns into some sort of Spiderman/Creature From The Black Lagoon thing…and rapes her.
So now we know this thing can change form! That old chestnut!
At the hospital, one of the younger nurses is getting worried. What if she’s next? She’s a virgin too! Dr Gamble Pace tells her to be strong!
Yeah! Strong! She needs to be strong! So she goes home and puts a massive pot on the stove.
Then she gets naked…of course.
She does a bit of cooking…and then…
Back at the hospital one of the male nurses notices that the victims suddenly look alot better than they did a moment earlier. It’s like they have magically recovered from their injuries.
Hmm…I guess I don’t really want to give away too much, cause I think you should probably watch it.
It’s worth it…it’s completely nonsensical and utterly rubbish, but pretty damn awesome at the same time. I mean, the alien nest is just like a giant slimy hot tub!
What kind of evil genius alien came up with that idea?
Oh and the alien…it’s not a pretty sight. Whatever it’s supposed to be, it’s pretty fucking ugly.
You wouldn’t want to mess with that thing.
In short, the main lesson to be learnt from Breeders is that if you believe sex before marriage is wrong, you are a prime target for invading aliens, who will kill your male friends, before raping you and putting you in a weird jacuzzi. This is pretty common knowledge though, right?
Anyway, watch it! It’s 73 minutes of pure insanity. A true so-bad-it’s-good classic!
And the trailer is amazing!